GammaScript — Protect Your JavaScript From Cosmic Rays

JavaScript is a unique language at the awkward intersection of popularity, disgrace, and sublime horror. It might be our only hope against the reality-bending powers of the cosmos.

Introduction

Thor, god of thunder, slowly gave mastery of its element to us mortals, beginning around the 18th century to the likes of Benjamin Franklin.

In the 19th century, we figured that we could use electricity to perform logical and mathematical calculations automatically, but the technology was not there yet.

In the early 20th century, brave electrons roamed ancient vacuum tubes, and we exploited them to power our earliest digital computers, such as the ENIAC. Nowadays, we relegate this technology to the “tubular sound” of guitar amplifiers and synthesizers in retro garage bands.

In 1947, it happened. We created transistors, electronic switches that can be either “on” or “off”. We can chain them endlessly to store and process our entire digital world. Indeed, they transformed life and culture.

The historical record is Tacitus’ Germania, an ethnographic work on the Germanic peoples. Tacitus refers to Thor as “Hercules” due to a process known as “interpretatio romana” (where characteristics perceived to be similar by Romans result in the identification of a non-Roman god as a Roman deity).