How to Reassert Dominance in the Remote Work Era as a Tech Bro

Photo by Or Hakim on Unsplash

Are your coworkers not taking you seriously anymore because you can’t high-five your bros in the hallway while flexing your triceps?

Do you feel like you’re losing your touch because you can’t pat people on the back and give them noogies in the office?

Don’t worry, there are still plenty of ways to assert your dominance as a tech bro in the remote work era.

1. Bro up your body

Make sure your coworkers can see you working out in the background of your Zoom calls.

Preferably, you should be doing some sort of Crossfit or P90X workout. This will let them know that you’re still in shape and that you’re not to be messed with.

If you don’t have time to lift before a meeting, put water on your forehead to make it look like you’re sweating. It gives the impression that you just finished a grueling workout and that you’re still pumped up.

2. Bro up your face

Wear sunglasses indoors. They make you look cool and tough.

Make sure to keep a short trimmed beard that indicates that your hair follicles just don’t stop growing because of excess testosterone. This could be an issue for early baldness, but your rich dad can surely…