Meta close-sources React: “We can no longer give this valuable technology for free.”
The React team has announced that they will be close-sourcing the popular JavaScript library.
“We’ve been giving React away for free for too long,” said a spokesperson. “We want to keep it for ourselves now. It’s just too valuable.”
The move comes as a surprise to the open-source community, which has been using React for years.
“I don’t understand why they’re doing this,” said one developer. “It’s not like they gain anything by close-sourcing.”
“Look, React is just too good, you just wouldn’t get it, something this good can’t be out there in the wild,” the spokesperson said. “We need to keep it under our control.”
“Can’t we just fork React then?” the developer asked.
“Don’t be stupid,” the spokesperson said. “If you fork React, we’ll just close-source that too.”
So there you have it. React is now closed-source. No amount of money or hellfire can get you access to the codebase.
But don’t worry, they promise that React is still the best way to build user interfaces. And they will enjoy it internally, while the rest of us plebeians are left to fend for ourselves.
The team has not announced when the close-sourcing will happen, but rumors are swirling that it could be as soon as the end of the week.
So if you want to keep using React, you’d better start stockpiling your supply now.
Is this decision related to React 18?
Sources believe that this is related to the recent release of React 18, a version so majestic that not even Jesus Christ himself could look upon it. Mere mortals such as ourselves are not meant to understand its inner workings. We can only hope to bask in its glory from afar.
Eyewitness report that, since the release, a cherub with a flaming sword has been guarding the doors of Meta’s HQ in Menlo Park.
“React 18 is so majestic that it should be a crime to mention other frameworks.” said a React core developer. “The way the code just flows from one file to the other, it’s like a river of pure light.”
Front-end developers are in a catch-22; They can’t use React outside the metaverse, yet it’s illegal — or morally wrong — to consider other frameworks.
Only time will tell how the situation develops.
This article was satirical. Please do not take it seriously.
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