If You Are a Programmer, You Are Literally Saving the World.
Programmers are not just regular people. Every time they sit down to write code, they do something essential to the continuation of human civilization.
All areas of human activity have radically improved thanks to programmers, and this should fill everyone’s heart with hope for a bright future.
1. Technology
All the roads, vehicles, factories, and power lines — in fact, the entire world’s supply chains — are maintained by software.
If programmers were to disappear overnight, we would all be eating rocks.
Sure, you need non-programmers to do the manual work, but that will end as soon as we have robots. Then, all the world’s workers will abandon their rusty tools and join us in intellectual activities, like listening to Bach.
2. Biology
While the average person has a jumble of random thoughts and instincts, a programmer’s thoughts are perfectly organized, like a well-written piece of code.
That is because they are the only ones who truly understand that we are all just code running on the hardware of our bodies.
With this knowledge, programmers can control their endocrine system. Any emotion is instantly suppressed or transformed into actions or behaviors that support their abstract work.
To the non-programmer, this might seem unfortunate. However, abstractions allow for a rich inner world with far greater pleasures than the physical world. Why smell roses when you could think of a for-loop?
3. Politics
For most of our time on Earth, we were just animals. Then we invented language. And then programming languages. We have finally begun to tame the beast that is human nature.
With the help of code, we can now model any situation, so we can finally figure out what causes wars and famines and how to prevent them.
Programmers do think about the future. A common misconception is that programmers are in front of the computer all day. But that’s only half of the truth; They are also in front of the computer all night.
4. Philosophy
Wittgenstein famously said, “The limits of my language are the limits of my world.” This is especially true for programmers.
They are the only hope to finish what humans like Dalí and Foucault started: the collapse of reality, and the birth of an ordered, perfect metaverse.
5. Art
The difference between a Rembrandt and a paint-by-numbers is just a matter of understanding composition techniques. And what are those but algorithms?
All of the world’s artists are just programmers who haven’t written any code yet.
AI art tools like DALL·E prove that there’s no point in wasting our creativity on anything but programming. This might sound dry, but not as dry as a Dutch oil painting of a broom.
6. Religion
Every major religion was started by a programmer born before the time of computers.
The reason is simple: only a programmer can see through the illusion of matter and see the world as it really is: information. Consider, as evidence, that the pixel of reality is the plank length and that there’s code for quantum computers embedded in space-time.
Most modern programmers are agnostic. This is because they understand that, in time — maybe with the help of AI —they’ll write a Prolog program that will output either an ontological argument for the existence of God, or NULL.
7. Programming
And, of course, there is programming itself.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat it, and then he will die. If you teach a man to fish, he will eventually learn how to code, and he will be able to build a fishing bot, and he will live forever.
And not just fishing. Anything that can be automated, will be automated. Soon, there will be nothing left for humans to do. And that will put a smile on the face of the AI overlords that will eventually replace us.
So, the next time you see a programmer, take a moment to thank them for their tireless efforts. We owe them literally everything.
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